Sitting Here

Sitting here in the Publications Office has got me thinking. I feel as though my heart is ripping in two and God, I want to strangle someone.

Ever since last night I've been thinking. Heck, ever since I found out that we're surely, definitely going to Canada, I've been thinking a lot. I've tried my all optimistic don't let it bother you approach, but it's not working. Nothing's going to change the fact that I despise having to go there. I seriously, utterly, with every fibre of my being, loathe it.

To make matters worse, while showering last night and listening to music, I realized that there would be a lot of things I would not get to experience for the last time, like the Core Values presentation, behind which I've been one of the driving forces for the past two years. There's also the Integrated Project Performances, they're seriously one of the only things I look forward to in school and now I don't even get to join them.

It's not that I'm a glory hog but I love being on stage, performing in front of people whom I don't know. Honestly speaking, I'm not sure if there'll be a lot of that where I'm going and that's one of the reasons that I hate the fact that we're moving to some cold country in the north. I love the Philippines, that's for sure.

Another thing is the woman I love, she's been getting distant for the past two weeks, probably in light of our move to Canada. I asked her about and she said that she only wants to focus on her studies, but part of me knows that whether consciously or subconsciously, she's distancing herself from me to avoid getting hurt.

That's another thing that's fueling my hatred of this crap, the fact that I might lose her because of it. I can't blame the moving, it's a tangible thing. I blame my parents. Honestly, I know I shouldn't but they're really the ones to blame. After all, it was their choice to move to Canada, their choice to make my protestations fall on deaf ears, and I despise them for that.

Moving on, I'm going to be here for the rest of the day and honestly, I can't think of anything to do. I'll just wait for people to come around. The Trip magazine is almost finished but I'm having second thoughts about the article placements so I'm waiting for my fellow editors to show up for a second opinion.

You Know...

It feels so good to be away from home. Haha!

posted from Bloggeroid

How Sad...

Ang hirap. Wala akong ibang salitang magamit. Ang hirap. Ang hirap hirap talaga. Alam mo yung pakiramdam na parang nagkampihan kayo ng kaibigan mo tas lahat sila magkakakampi, ikaw lang ang wala, yun pala, hindi kampihan ang laro, mataya-taya pala? Ganun ang nararamdaman ko.

Simula ng i-pull out ako sa pagiging enrolled... Oo! Hindi na ako estudyante. Naging mabigat na pakiramdam ko. Nawala lang un ng panandalian pagpunta ko ng school, kaso bumalik rin eh.

Tapos ngayon... Yung mahal ko, parang wala ng oras para sakin.. Siguro kasalanan ko rin, sinanay ko sarili ko na lagi siya kausap, lagi kakulitan. Kaso ang sakit rin naman na parang wala na siyang panahong kayang ilaan sayo.

Dadaan ang isang araw na miski isang text wala, para kang tanga, tingin ng tingin sa fone, wala naman yung text niya. Pagsapit ng dilim, maeexcite ka, nagbabakasakaling di siya busy ngaung gabi, kaso, aun, busy parin.

Kahapon nga, ni I love you wala eh.. Nauunawaan ko naman.. Talagang busy ang college life, lalo na't 100% scholar siya.. Kaso ang lapit ko nang umalis eh.. At nangangamba ako na baka di na kami magkita ng tuluyan..

Kung di lang kami aalis, mag aabroad, edi sana hindi ako nagkakaganto. Nababalisa ako eh. Nangungulila ako sa piling niya.. Alam mo yun? Parang nahanap mo na ung taong magmamahal sayo kung pano mo siya minamahal tas ipagkakait pa siya sayo ng mundo?

Kag*guhan naman kasi eh. So what kung may mas magandang future, libreng health care? Wala naman SIYA dun! May bagong opportunities nga, opportunities na sirain ang buhay ko. :(

Ang tanging hiling ko lang naman, makasama, makausap ka bago man lang ako umalis. Gusto ko maramdaman yung init, ung security na kaakibat ng pakikipag usap sayo ulit.. Ngayon kasi parang wala na eh.. Busy ka na kasi.. Gusto ko ulit maramdaman yung feeling na di ako nag iisa.. Kaso.. Ayun nga.. :(

Alam ko naman na para sa kinabukasan mo yan eh.. Kaso.. Natatakot ako. Sorry... Pero yan talaga ang himig ng puso ko ngayon eh.. Alam ko na kelangan mo yan.. Kaso natataranta na ako eh.. Higit kumulang isang bwan nalang ang nalalabi... At alam mo naman kung gaano katagal lumipas ang ganung panahon...

Walang wala na ako sa wisyo.. :( sana nandito ka.. :(

Sorry ah.. Kelangan ko lng talaga malabas..

posted from Bloggeroid

Using a Different Blogging App

The last blogging app I used for my personal blogging was blogger-droid. Unfortunately, it has started using airpush ads and unfortunately it sucks. It sucks bad.

So here I am using a new app called Bloggerdroid. It's a different one, didn't you notice the missing hyphen?

Anyway, that's it.

posted from Bloggeroid